|August 30, 2016||Some More About Self-Esteem||no comments|
|August 25, 2016||Striking Back||no comments|
|August 22, 2016||Small Wins in Self- Esteem||0 comments|
|August 17, 2016||Awakening||1 comments|
|August 14, 2016||A Tisha b’Av Dream||no comments|
|August 12, 2016||Advice From A Sea Turtle||no comments|
|August 08, 2016||BubbeCamp||no comments|
|July 29, 2016||Not A 5 Star Hospital To Be Found Here||no comments|
|July 26, 2016||Herstory Being Made||no comments|
|July 20, 2016||The Eye Of The Needle||no comments|
I received this note about my blog entry last week:
August 22, 2016 at 10:27 am
Very helpful. The negative thoughts can occur instantaneously and even outside of our awareness. Important to slow down and notice even if in process of a behavior that is the outcome of the negative thought.
As a follow up to your post it would be helpful if you would write a blog about dealing with irrational self- beliefs and expectations ie. “I need to be perfect” “I need to be liked by everyone”?
Dear Reader, Thanks for taking this further. Underlying the core issue of low self-esteem is irrational thinking. Having personally experienced cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), I understand first-hand how we develop false concepts based upon our individual learning experiences, our parents' beliefs, and societal expectations. Challenge, fear, confusion, worry, criticism, grandiosity, all-or-nothing thinking, magical or delusional thinking, paranoia and leaps in logic bombard us to severely affect our individual belief system.
The first half of the battle comes in recognizing these irrational thinking styles and understanding how they developed. It’s not easy to identify and it is more than likely that you will need the help from someone on the outside to recognize your personal irrationality. But it’s worth the effort, because once you label and dissect an irrational thought, you begin to take away some of its power.
One of the fundamental tools in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for the process of letting this false ideas go is a simple cognitive restructuring form called The Thought Record. It takes each irrational self-belief, reveals its source, its underlying principle, and its link to a negative emotion giving you an opening into new more positive possibilities. Try it. Again, from personal experience, I can assure you it works!
I heard a fascinating interview on the BBC with the deputy mayor of Nice, Christian Estrosi, about the resort town’s decision to ban the burkini, the full-body Islamic swimsuit. He explained that “hiding the face or wearing a full-body costume to go to the beach is not in keeping with our ideal of social relations” and was “founded on the subjugation and enslavement of women”.
The Nice ban refers specifically to July’s Bastille Day truck attack in the city that claimed 86 lives, and the murder 12 days later of a Catholic priest near the northern city of Rouen. The day after the Normandy church attack, wanting to react to issues of terrorism, security and the place of Islam in French society, the mayor of the French Riviera town of Cannes decided to ban burkinis from public beaches. Speaking in the name of public order and French secularism the ban criticized “ostentatious clothing which refers to an allegiance to terrorist movements which are at war with us”.
At the heart of the burkini row is the French principle of secularism, the strict separation of church and state to foster equality for all private beliefs. The state’s goal is to be neutral in terms of religion and allow everyone the freedom to practice their faith as long as there is no threat to public order.
On one hand it’s too bad the only way to fight terrorists is to expose the women. On the other maybe it’s a way to help liberate these women from their own oppression. What I can say is I was quite intrigued with the deputy major of Nice and interested to understand the thinking that seeks retaliation through liberation.
Do you know your inner critic? Does she doubt, judge, belittle you? Does she tell you that you are not good enough? Does she say negative hurtful things to you—things that you would never ever dream of saying to anyone else?
A critic might seem useful, but really when she is within you, she can inhibit and limit you in such ways that you are robbed of your piece of mind and emotional well-being. When your inner critic consistently labels you in a negative way, it has a demoralizing effect on the larger self-concept of who you are and what you can be and do.
You may ask,” but what if my critic is right?” It doesn’t matter. Negative self-talk is never in your interest. There is always a kinder, better way to treat yourself that doesn’t involve negative labels and self-destructive mindsets.
To silence your inner critic:
1. Notice her during every conscious moment. Don’t let the negative thinking be automatic. Making the conscious effort to slow down and pay more attention to your thoughts and your emotions. Negative emotions such as doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness are almost always signs of your critic at work.
2. Separate the critic from you. She is not part of your authentic self. You were not born with her. She is a voice you have internalized based on outside influences such as other people’s criticism, expectations, or standards. Name her and call her out when you hear her.
3. Remove her power by talking back to her. Tell her you don’t want to hear what she has to say and what you are choosing instead is to be kind to yourself. No matter what the inner critic has said, you do have positive traits that need to be acknowledged. Replace the critic with a stronger ally: an inner voice that acts as a friend. Start noticing and actively seek out the good things about yourself. Make a deliberate effort to say something positive whenever you hear your critic. Become your own best friend!
What would it feel like if you realized that, from the very beginning, you were designed to look for, to find, and to receive G-d? That you were designed to awaken to reality? How would it feel to know that this would definitely happen in your lifetime, because you were made to accomplish this very thing?
If you let yourself feel this, many things will drop away. Those are the things you no longer need. Try to let them go. What is left is the answer you were looking for and the reason you were born.
Jason Shulman; The Instruction Manual For Receiving God; Page 21.
Being the Ninth of Av I am struck by the contents of my dream last night and compelled to share it.
I dreamt I was teaching young students in the Yeshiva Girl’s School. (Did you know that the school is named for my grandparents, Sarah and Hymen Shapiro?) We were in a classroom with a large picture window were we could look out and see Forbes and the buildings on the other side of the street.
Across the street was the ZOA Building (now replaced with the Mikva) but the facade was missing. Inside on both floors we could see individual orthodox men facing Forbes and praying (I wonder if that is facing East?). The building began to crumb and parts of it started to fall onto the street but the men kept praying uninterrupted or deterred by their impending danger.
I decided I could do nothing to help the men and decided to move the children I was working with into another area in the back of the building where they would not see the destruction of the building. Then I woke up.
Hot Dogs, beans, watermelon and ice cream sandwiches
Name The Plants
Scrambled Eggs, Bagels and Berries
Care Package for Eva
Highland Park Picnic- sandwiches and cantaloupe slices
Gourmet Grilled Cheese
Hillary Video and Discussion
Story Telling Festival in Market Square
Silk and Stewart Construction Site
Cherries Snack and Creative Play
Balloon Chocolate Bowls
Akeelah and the Bee
Pasta, Pizza and Salad
Night Out and Ice Balls
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Justice Clothing Selections
Tee-Shirt Shopping at Target
Oakland Play Park
John Riegert Exhibit
Southside Works Sprinklers
Ice Cream Sundays
Silk and Stewart Office Visit
North Side Water Stairs
Gus The Ice Ball Man
Parmesan Chicken and Sides
Upper St. Clair Swimming Pool
Silk Screen T-shirts
Established by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), QualityNet provides healthcare reporting tools, include their latest ratings for Overall Hospital Quality. They measured over 64 qualities, include quality measures for routine care given to the average patient at the hospital, to generate a single summary score. Their goal is to give consumers a way to make decisions on where to receive care.
Several of our local hospitals received below average marks. The ratings are reflected on a five-star scale with five being the highest.
UPMC East – Four stars
UPMC Northwest – Four stars
UPMC Passavant – Four stars
UPMC St. Margaret – Four stars
UPMC McKeesport – Three stars
Magee Women’s Hospital – Three stars
UPMC Mercy – Two stars
UPMC Presbyterian/Shadyside – Two stars
Allegheny Health Network hospitals:
Jefferson Hospital – Four stars
Allegheny Valley Hospital – Three stars
Forbes Hospital – Three stars
West Penn Hospital – Three stars
Canonsburg General Hospital – Two stars
Allegheny General Hospital – One star
I remember well the forerunners- Shirley Chisholm, Bella Abzug, Patricia Schroeder, and Geraldine Ferraro. Now we have Hillary Clinton and I am loving every second of great anticipation in wait of the inauguration of 45th President of the United States and a little thought/question/wonder- what role awaits Michele Obama in the new administration?
P.S. In case, G-d forbid, you remember Phyllis Schlafly- She is 91, in attendance at the Republican convention and as off the mark as ever.
I’ve returned from a successful four-day artist’s retreat. I have a history with The Artist’s Way that has helped me on many occasions to overcome some kind of block. This time I planned this new embroidery way back at the end of last year. With my well-honed practice of creating portraits in French knots, I was very disappointed in my in-ability to get it started- so much so that fear had taken hold. What if my eyes could no longer concentrate on the detail? What if my hands would no longer cooperate to thread the needle and create the knots? What I my color skills had lapsed in their ability to discern value? Four-days without interruption was just the trick. I’m thrilled and now confident to continue on this project that had been previously beyond my grasp. Good use of time watching this awful political process!